Tuesday, 8 May 2018

Can Former Lovers Be Just Good Friends?


Whether you are just curious, been in this kind of situation or you find it difficult to understand, friending your ex has its positive and negative sides. Each one of us have found ourselves in a situation where your current boyfriend/girlfriend has had an ex and they try to stay friends with them, that is not a very rare situation at all.

There are various groups of people who claim that it is entirely possible and that there is no need for panic, while other groups of people claim that it is probably the worst idea ever. Is it good or the worst idea ever though? It depends on you and mainly you. If you have ever gotten yourself into this kind of situation you probably felt stressed out and confused, which is completely fine.

After spending certain amount of time with someone who gets very close to you, you basically get used on their presence, talks and ideas, which makes you rather good friend to them before anything else. After the friendship turns into a relationship between two individuals, it might be a hard task going back to the friendship state with them ever again. It is expected from us to create bonds and care about them as we go through our lives, therefore, it is completely normal if you feel the need to stay friends with your ex - you feel the need to save that bond between you two and you wish you could still talk and laugh as you did with them before you actually got into a relationship together. Before making it all about your needs, you need to think about the needs and thoughts of your current lover.

Why is that? Why do we have hard time being friends with our exes?

Friending your ex might be the worst thing to do in case you are in a new unstable relationship and the reasoning behind is very simple: no one wants to feel like a replacement, no one wants to be jealous and scared. All these things are a completely normal reaction coming from your boyfriend/girlfriend and you should never judge them because of that, instead try putting yourself in their shoes and try to realize how hard it is for them. Your current boyfriend/girlfriend have no idea what kind of relationship you have had with your ex and they are clueless on whether you might go back to them or not, they are only scared to lose you and jealousy is the only way to show it in this case.

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There are certain situations where you simply need to realize which side to take- friending your ex or just let them be for the sake of peace in your own relationship. You need to know your priorities before you let any of these things happen, if you are still in love with your ex, you should never stay friends with them and be in another new relationship. Why? Simply because you do not want to play with feelings of others and your own even.

Friending your ex can also be a positive thing, but only if both of you are completely over your past relationship and you no longer feel attracted or in love at all. If this is the case, your ex might actually become a really good friend to you because you both, together gotten to the part where you found your relationship to be too much and you both feel a lot more comfortable being friends only. When this happens, you will have a lot easier time explaining the situation to your current lover, and they should understand with no issues at all.

Couple Fight

Hiding things and keeping your feelings a secret is usually what makes the friendship with your ex the worst thing ever, nothing else but that, and before you claim otherwise, sit back and think through - most of our ‘human' problems start when we decide to lie, hide and go around pretending that everything makes sense to us, while in real... many things make no sense at all.

When in a long relationship, you will probably come to your senses and you will not think much about your previous relationship, if someone from your past relationship gets involved, it is the best for you to keep them at distance, you do not want your wife or husband to feel jealous and doubtful of your actions. If you are happy and you feel as if you could never be happier, never risk it because of curiosity or someone from the past. Past is past, leave it at that. Is an old boring affair really worth all the pain and suffering afterwards? NO! It is not.

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Some of these claims have been actually researched and looked after by experts and we are not that far from realizing the big science behind ‘friending your ex’.

‘If you are hanging on because of desire to re-spark the relationship, you’re doing yourself a disservice’

Dr. Gabrielle Morrissey (Body + soul sex and relationship expert) suggests.

Dr. Gabrielle Morrissey also says -

‘Be aware of signs you are not moving forward, such as having photos of your ex on your display, not dating other people at all and spending too much time with them. You need to be looking forward, not backward.’

It is extremely important to understand that as long as you are happy and you wish to change nothing at all, there is no need for you to seek for something else, as soon as that happens, it is probably the best for you to think further about your relationship or marriage. When you truly love and you are truly loved, no one will break you apart, not even your exes from the high school days, unless of course…you let them do so. Care for what you have and cherish every single moment with the people who truly love you, never compromise that happiness and love for something that might seem interesting at one very moment!

Can Former Lovers Be Just Good Friends?

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