You Are Killing Us With Your Jealousy

After eagerly digesting an insightful article written by author and educator Zachary Stockhill, I realized that there is a plethora of voices that contribute to the global conversation about jealousy and relationships. In this article, we are going to focus on jealousy from the male perspective, and how women who are jealous in relationships can permanently destroy meaningful partnerships.

Let’s start with a quote by Robert A. Heinlein:

Jealousy is a disease; love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy – in fact, they are almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.

In this quote, Heinlein states that love and jealousy cannot exist in the same room. Therefore, if you are in a healthy relationship, there is no room for jealousy. I spoke to Sophia, a 30-year-old nurse who has been in a relationship with her long-term partner Mark for ten years. She explained that she struggles with jealousy issues and it is ruining their otherwise beautiful relationship. She stated that she finds it difficult to accept that he has female friends because she does not have any male friends.

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Mark contributed to the conversation by saying that he loves Sophia, but if she continues with her jealousy, he will eventually have to end the relationship. Here is a quote from Mark:

Women and jealousy, I know it is hard for some women to accept that men can have female friends and still be wholeheartedly in love with one woman. However, it is possible to love your woman and still have close friendships with other females. I love Sophia, but jealousy is a turn off for me. What turns me on is a woman so secure in herself that she simply does not feel threatened by members of the same sex.

Is Jealousy Killing Your Relationship?
If jealousy is hurting your partnership, there are a few things you can do to overcome the green-eyed monster, read on to find out more.

Work on Yourself
The truth is, if you are working on becoming the best version of yourself, you simply do not have the time for jealousy. Imagine this; you wake up every day, meditate, exercise, take a shower, drink the sweetest smoothie and sit down to work on your latest book, or the article you are writing for one of the top magazines in the world.

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In the afternoon, you write out your positive affirmations and listen to the latest personal development podcast. You are so busy working on yourself that being worried or jealous about what your partner is doing has no bearing on your life. Work on yourself, focus on you, love your partner but do not put him at the center of your universe.

Accept This
Accept that you cannot control people, you can only control yourself and how you react to things. You cannot control who your man speaks to, where he goes, what he wears or anything else. The quicker you accept and understand this the better it will be for you.

Get Out More
Get out and about more, tick off things from your bucket list, meet new people, explore. If you spend your time worrying about your partner and what they are doing, you are not living. Get out there and live your life to the fullest!

Positive Affirmations
Write down positive affirmations, or speak them out loud. Often jealousy is a symptom of insecurity and low confidence. Therefore, it is essential that you focus on boosting your confidence. Use some of these positive affirmations to help you.

-I love the person I am becoming.

-I am happy, healthy and I am learning and growing

-My life is good, I am confident, assertive and happy

-My self-esteem is healthy; I am in love with the person I have become

-I wholeheartedly love myself, loving myself is my real priority.

Look After Yourself
Look after yourself, pamper yourself, put yourself first. Eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, drink water, exercise, book yourself in for a manicure and pedicure, treat yourself. You deserve it!

Love More
Love yourself more and love your partner more. If you want your relationship to work, replace feelings of jealousy with feelings of total and utter love.

Remember This
If your partner is giving you a genuine reason to be jealous, then maybe it is time to show to cut your losses and end the relationship once and for all. For example, if you catch your partner hugging and inappropriately caressing another woman, then you have a right to be concerned.

For the Men
How do you behave around other women? Are you overly flirtatious? Would you be happy to see your woman flirting inappropriately with other men? Before you get angry about your woman’s jealousy issues, evaluate how you behave and ask yourself if you are giving her a reason to be jealous. If you love your partner, and you want it to work, you have to establish a balance, talk, talk and talk some more.

RELATED: How To Have A Successful Relationship With A Man?

Here are some more quotes about jealousy, maybe they will provide you with some insight into whether or not your jealous behavior is worth it or not.

The jealous are possessed by a mad devil and a dull spirit at the same time.
–Johann Kaspar Lavater

Love shouldn’t be about jealousy or anything like that. It should be about commitment and be able to trust that person. If you can’t have that from the get-go, there’s a problem.
–Aaron Carter

If our love is only a will to possess, it is not loved.
–Hann Nhat Thich

Jealousy hyphenates love in all the wrong places.
–Terri Guillemets

They said that being jealous is an act of how much you love the person; I said that if you love and you care for that person, you should also learn how to trust.
–Unknown author

A Few More Tips !

Keep a Journal
Whenever you feel jealous, insecure or angry, write your feelings down. Write both positive and negative emotions in your journal.

Get Creative
Negative emotions like jealousy eat away at your happiness. Instead of dwelling on these feelings, why not put them to good use. Create something, draw, paint, write, sing, dance.

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Jealousy is a natural yet destructive emotion. It kills relationships and reduces the chances of anyone having a happy, healthy fulfilling life. Therefore, if you are a woman, or man who is battling with jealousy problems, assimilate some of these tips, and go ahead and live your best life. Life is too short to continually entertain the green-eyed monster.

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